In the year 2000, a charming, romantic comedy called “What Women Want” was released in theaters. The main character, played by Mel Gibson, gets the ability to hear what women are thinking. At first, he plans to use this to bring down his female boss. But, he ends up falling for her instead!
What if we, as women, could be like this? What if we could get insight into the thoughts of men?
I know what you’re thinking: I already know what men want. But do you? If we look at pop culture and social media, it would appear as if men want a woman with a small waist, big butt, and perfect features who jumps at his beck and call. But who would know better than anyone what a man wants than a man himself?
I polled men of different ages and stages of life to find out what they thought was the MOST attractive quality in a woman. And it may not be what you think.
The third highest ranking quality that men reported is most attractive to them is confidence. One respondent described it this way: “[Confidence] shows in everything she does. It shows in the way she dresses, speaks, walks, works, teaches, learns, parents and it’s also incredibly sexy.”
Have you ever seen a woman whose physical appearance is average to you, but for some reason, when she walks into a room, she commands attention? That’s confidence. It has nothing to do with looks, but rather all to do with knowing and owning the best parts of yourself.
Jack Zenger provides a few tips for building your self-confidence in an article from forbes.com. “To build self-confidence,” he writes, “focus on the strengths you possess and your achievements rather than what you don’t do well. Guard carefully against negative self-talk.” Other tips include having an optimistic outlook on life, grooming, maintaining good posture and eye contact. (Click here for more tips on self-confidence)
#2 Physical Appearance
Some respondents felt that physical attractiveness along with an inward quality, like compassion or personality, were equally important. However, there was not a single respondent who gave any physical quality without an inward quality. One gentleman put it this way: “her attractiveness gets your attention, but her inner substance (her spirit, her drive, her personality, her nurturing, etc.) is what keeps you connected/interested to want to grow with her.”
There was no physical quality that was repeated: each man that listed a physical quality said something different. Some responses included hands, feet, legs, trunk, hips, and a cute face. The message here is very clear: different men find different physical features attractive. That tells me that there is no need to desire or covet a physical feature that you don’t have. Furthermore, physical characteristics alone are not what is most attractive to men.
#1 Smile/Sense of Humor
The number one quality that men find most attractive in a woman is her smile/sense of humor. 50% of men polled cited this as the most attractive quality in a woman. Notice that this has nothing to do with physique, intellect, or submissiveness. Also, note that it’s not a perfect smile or a particular kind of humor.
What’s so telling about this is that smiling, most of the time, takes very little effort. Make up, putting outfits together, getting nails done and all that other hoopla is work. But smiling? Laughing? Enjoying life? It’s simple, and this is what actually draws men. Older men, younger men, married men, and single men, all found this quality to be most appealing.
What am I saying? Whether you have been married for twenty years or you are single and desiring marriage, live a life that you enjoy. Engage in experiences and make memories that make you smile. Don’t believe the hype: you do not need a snatched waist and perfect skin to attract or satisfy a man. Living your best life, becoming your best self, and enjoying everything in between is what men really want.