The Top 3 Most Attractive Qualities in a Woman

Hmmm…what are you thinking?

In the year 2000, a charming, romantic comedy called “What Women Want” was released in theaters. The main character, played by Mel Gibson, gets the ability to hear what women are thinking. At first, he plans to use this to bring down his female boss. But, he ends up falling for her instead!

What if we, as women, could be like this? What if we could get insight into the thoughts of men?

I know what you’re thinking: I already know what men want. But do you? If we look at pop culture and social media, it would appear as if men want a woman with a small waist, big butt, and perfect features who jumps at his beck and call. But who would know better than anyone what a man wants than a man himself?

I polled men of different ages and stages of life to find out what they thought was the MOST attractive quality in a woman. And it may not be what you think.

#3 Confidence

The third highest ranking quality that men reported is most attractive to them is confidence. One respondent described it this way: “[Confidence] shows in everything she does. It shows in the way she dresses, speaks, walks, works, teaches, learns, parents and it’s also incredibly sexy.”

Have you ever seen a woman whose physical appearance is average to you, but for some reason, when she walks into a room, she commands attention? That’s confidence. It has nothing to do with looks, but rather all to do with knowing and owning the best parts of yourself.

Jack Zenger provides a few tips for building your self-confidence in an article from “To build self-confidence,” he writes, “focus on the strengths you possess and your achievements rather than what you don’t do well. Guard carefully against negative self-talk.” Other tips include having an optimistic outlook on life, grooming, maintaining good posture and eye contact. (Click here for more tips on self-confidence)

#2 Physical Appearance

Some respondents felt that physical attractiveness along with an inward quality, like compassion or personality, were equally important. However, there was not a single respondent who gave any physical quality without an inward quality. One gentleman put it this way: “her attractiveness gets your attention, but her inner substance (her spirit, her drive, her personality, her nurturing, etc.) is what keeps you connected/interested to want to grow with her.”

Feet are one physical feature that men find attractive.
Photo by Bryan Verxes on Unsplash

There was no physical quality that was repeated: each man that listed a physical quality said something different. Some responses included hands, feet, legs, trunk, hips, and a cute face. The message here is very clear: different men find different physical features attractive. That tells me that there is no need to desire or covet a physical feature that you don’t have. Furthermore, physical characteristics alone are not what is most attractive to men.

#1 Smile/Sense of Humor

The number one quality that men find most attractive in a woman is her smile/sense of humor. 50% of men polled cited this as the most attractive quality in a woman. Notice that this has nothing to do with physique, intellect, or submissiveness. Also, note that it’s not a perfect smile or a particular kind of humor.

One respondent said that an “illuminating smile” is the most attractive quality a woman can have.

What’s so telling about this is that smiling, most of the time, takes very little effort. Make up, putting outfits together, getting nails done and all that other hoopla is work. But smiling? Laughing? Enjoying life? It’s simple, and this is what actually draws men. Older men, younger men, married men, and single men, all found this quality to be most appealing.

What am I saying? Whether you have been married for twenty years or you are single and desiring marriage, live a life that you enjoy. Engage in experiences and make memories that make you smile. Don’t believe the hype: you do not need a snatched waist and perfect skin to attract or satisfy a man. Living your best life, becoming your best self, and enjoying everything in between is what men really want.

Did these responses surprise you? Share your thoughts below!


  1. Anita
    November 7, 2020 / 2:10 pm

    Excellent read and the responses seem to definitely be those of mentally healthy and mature men because they are such pure and simple responses. LOVE IT 🥰

    • November 9, 2020 / 1:34 am

      So glad you loved it! Don’t know if I would say all of the respondents are “mentally healthy and mature,” but I can say that they all are in a place where they want to or are pursuing a committed relationship with a woman. And this is definitely who we want to entertain if we are seeking marriage!

  2. Dee
    November 7, 2020 / 4:31 pm

    These comments aside from what most women would think men would find attractive were surprising but so freeing to read at the same time! The inner qualities of a woman! Wow! I love it! Thanks for sharing this blog. It’s so eye opening and a great segway into healthy discussions on what men want/desire in a woman! Great blog!

    • November 9, 2020 / 1:31 am

      Thank you so much! I thought it to be so freeing as well!

  3. Brandon Randall
    November 7, 2020 / 10:02 pm


  4. Aleah
    November 8, 2020 / 10:48 pm

    This was such a fun piece! Love your work, Moni!

  5. Tawneesh ( taw-knee-shh) 😉
    December 8, 2020 / 4:08 am

    This was a great read .. I was a bit shocked that confidence wasn’t higher on the scale .. then again you can be confident and be ugly inside so it makes sense.

    I love that sense of humor is #1 … Laughing (good ole
    Fashion jokes and humor is soooo important 🤍🤍🙏🏿

    • December 8, 2020 / 4:47 pm

      I’m glad you enjoyed it Tawneesh! I think confidence is definitely imbedded in a smile/sense of humor too right? But you right girl, you can def be confident and a mean girl! 🙁

  6. BRIGNOLO1551
    January 6, 2021 / 3:31 pm

    Thank you!!1

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